Thoughts on ADHD

2025 update/tl;dr

After some time in full time work, I realised I identified with a lot of the symptoms of ADHD, and have done for as long as I can remember. I got round to getting a diagnosis in 2023, got medication in late 2024, and so far it works.

I reread my old post from the summer after my initial diagnosis but before I could access treatment, but didn't relate with it much anymore, so here's the remix.

For me, ADHD manifests itself as the feeling of constantly trying to catch up. An overwhelming awareness of everything that needs to be done, with little capacity to do anything that isn't new/immediately interesting/an emergency. Most day-to-day tasks don't don't fall into these categories, until they do and it's urgent.

Medication has helped for me, as it allows me hold focus on tasks for long enough that it feels rewarding. It isn't perfect, and there will still be a couple days each week where my brain feels like TV static (esp if I'm stressed or didn't sleep/eat well), but it's been easier to bounce back the next day and keep on truckin'.

It's been a challenge unlearning the old methods I used to focus. For me, anxiety was the main motivator to eventually do the aforementioned non-urgent-yet-important tasks, but that isn't exactly healthy and (I feel as though) it's partially to blame for the passing feeling I have that the sky is just about to fall on me. Working on it!

At the moment I'm on Elvanse 50MG, and have been lucky with side-effects, the main one being a reduced appetite, but this has mainly been a reduced desire for snacks/unhealthy food so I'm not too bothered.

Private treatment is expensive and I'm not sure about the quality of care provided. My experience of getting a second diagnosis through a private psychiatrist was quite poor - private providers usually don't accept existing diagnoses - and I felt pushed toward answers that would indicate I had the condition... The first diagnosis through my work (with no treatment pathway) seemed much more neutral.

It seems like ADHD is both over and under-diagnosed. Recent trends have raised awareness, but part of me resents being part of that cohort in fear of being dismissed for hopping on a trend. IDK. Will probably update this post in the future and revise my thoughts again :)